A Woman Knows How to Love, but Not Who to Love

Hello Lovely,

I have heard it said, “Women know how to love, but not who to love. Men know who to love, but not how to love”

It’s complicated.

Because it always seems to be complicated when it comes to issues of the heart, love, and relationships, doesn’t it?

Women tend to have a “soft spot” for the man that needs love and healing.  The nurturer inside pulls us to love the other, and the womanly vision picks up on potential.

And as with everything, there is a shadow aspect and a light aspect…

The shadow…

A woman finds herself in relationships with men that need healing and love, and she tries to “fix” them in an effort to feel worthiness inside herself. She has not learned how to simply receive love, so there is a belief that she needs to “earn” love. This fuels the constant “efforting” in the relationship to prove herself worthy of receiving whatever little breadcrumbs of love that she can from the wounded man. This can show up as mothering, enabling, fixing. This woman is controlling, manipulative, critical, and is rigid, tense, and “cold” in her body.

The Light…

This woman has been working on her self love journey and in her light, she attracts in a partnership that meets her right where she is at. But as the relationship deepens and time passes, the wounds of both rise up, triggering and rupturing the relationship. This can also be even more complicated when the woman continues to grow, and the man appears to be growing at a “slower” rate, so misalignment happens frequently, and distresses the woman. She questions the relationship and often receives pressure from friends/outside sources that she should leave the relationship.

To the second woman, in her Light…

What if the journey here is to learn how to deepen the love to a terrifying new depth of intimacy?

What if the next step for expansion is to choose to stay when it often feels like it would be easier to just leave and attract in a new man, at your new level?

What if choosing to keep your heart open is the next opportunity for growth?

What if you could extend your radical healing to your partner?

This feels risky because it is an unfamiliar space, and definitely outside our comfort zones.

So I would like to rephrase “A woman knows how to love” to say that the woman who knows how to Love in the highest sense takes what she has learned with her own self love journey and offers it to her Beloved with humility, grace, and forgiveness, so that he may learn how to Love.

Then, together, they heal the world with their Love.

This is Divine Love.

This is the calling from the heart of the Divine Feminine.

She will know this to be true because her heart always longs for connection. Her heart always opens to her Beloved, and she cannot ignore it.

She knows this to be true because her intuition shows her the vision of what could be. And when she embodies her goddess self and speaks to his god self, her Beloved steps forward towards her, closing the gap between them, and igniting her fire for more connection.

Relationships are not going to heal until we fully commit to them and choose to open our hearts daily to our Love.

Relationships can continue to grow and evolve together, and we don’t have to keep getting stuck in cycles of thinking we have to leave because we have “outgrown” our parter.

The self love journey starts as a focus on the self, but then can turn narcissistic if the Love is not expanded beyond the self to heal the world. 

To be continued…

Suze