My Journey Began When I Woke Up...
I grew up without my mother and with a severely wounded masculine father.
I grew up to become a master of wounded masculine energy—completely shut down emotionally, analyzing everything, being proud of my logical processing/planning/problem-solving, and my hard work ethic.
I remember a compliment my father gave me, “You have a very mechanical mind for a woman.”
I over-gave, was too nice, had no boundaries, low self worth and low confidence. I worked hard to “earn love”. I was hyper-independent because I completely distrusted men. I “did it all” because I was overly self-reliant and controlling. I viewed women who were emotional as weak. I was an extreme case of a woman with a feminine core, trying to force her way through life as a masculine, because that was all I knew.
On a hot Sunday morning in Brazil, 10 years ago, I hit my first rock bottom…burnt out, deeply depressed, and physically sick.
I have spent the last decade, clawing my way out of the darkness, healing my body, burning my old life to the ground, and recreating my identity.
The more I rested in my feminine, the more relief washed over more.
The more I let go of the doing, the more I found freedom and spaciousness in my flowing.
The more I let myself feel, the more I learned radical self acceptance, self respect, and self Love.
The more I let my intuition guide me, the more powerful and sovereign I felt.
But then I hit a plateau. Because the feminine can only soften and open to the extent that the masculine holds a safe space for her to relax…
I found freedom, value, & ease when I allowed myself to be all soft in my feminine...
I Discovered There Was More. . .
The more I healed my masculine, the greater space I learned to hold for all the emotions with no judgement and shame.
The more I healed my masculine, the more I learned to trust and understand the masculine and therefore, men.
The more I healed my masculine, the more my childhood wounds with my own father are closed out.
The more I healed my masculine, the more I learned how to validate myself.
The more I healed my masculine, the more I finally felt safe enough to go deep into raw intimacy.
And here I am, 10 years later, and I feel magnificent.
It’s been a wild ride—questioning my sanity, nervous breakdowns, a brutal divorce, betrayal/rejection by family, and losing it all.
But in losing all the fake foundations built on fears, I gained all the “things” I actually ever wanted.
That is inner union. The integration and collaboration of the masculine & feminine working TOGETHER to create harmony, wholeness, high value, confidence and knowing.
Both the masculine & feminine are NEEDED.
Neither can be pushed away or regarded as less than.
And when both are welcomed home, bliss (inner union) is achieved.
To Have It All, We Have to See That We Already Do...
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